Answer to happiness
A friend called at 2 am and I decided to stay up for no reason. I was enlightened by what my friend said. Yes, ENLIGHTENED.
The past 4 years of my high school career, I never had any luck with the male population. This is the cycle I go through: he likes me, I like him, we are mutual and he moves on to another girl. What a beautiful- oh wait- never mind. I don’t think I’m under qualified. I think no one can understand how much this damages my self esteem. Sure, I don’t show it at times but when I reflect or when someone mentions it to me, I would become a little bit lonely. My trust in guys have started to sky rocket down.
A year ago, I started my blog and around that time, I experienced a heartbreak or at least recovering from it. I thought I had finally recovered from it but low and behold, I was wrong. Again, in the same year, I had my heart broken again. A little back story, I. Hate, him. Just kidding, he is my “friend.” I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him because of my immature side but I’ll tolerate if I have to. I don’t want to go into the story too much because it’s personal but he knows what he has done and if he can live with himself then f you.
Not just with love but with myself, I have an internal struggle to keep myself happy. It is getting around the time where I doubt my life and if it is worth going on. Blogging and venting is how I let out steam and I’m glad for it. Friends also play a huge role in my life but I always feel left out but that’s fine? I’m fine. Yep.
PS I am in class. Leave me a reply on what you are doing right now! I would love to interact with my followers.
Ever heard the phrase, “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”? I may or may not have butchered that quote.. But you get the picture.
I love how effortless nature is, there isn’t anything going on but everything is breathtakingly beautiful. I felt like I was in a cartoon and everything surrounding me is fake.
I couldn’t process how beautiful the scenery was to me.
If that wasn’t enough, my hike in Mojave desert was even more wonderful!
I’m currently sitting on my chair as I contemplate on my life. It’s not even 2 am. Why am I thinking so hard?
One thing is for sure, I am tired. I’m tired of everything around me and the more I try to fix it, the more I am “done” with myself.
I honestly don’t know how people can put up with life but right now, I feel like sleeping in a coffin for eternity. No. I don’t want to be dead. I want to be a free roaming spirit or a person who is forever in a trance, whichever is easier.
Everything I’m typing is totally random.
My thoughts at 1 am is almost as sane as 5 am. I just need a better purpose in life, I don’t think I can take this continuous routine any longer. A break would be nice but that isn’t productive. Stress and anxiety is keeping me up and maybe that red bull I had.
I am glad and thankful for what I have in life but I am always thirsting for more and more. (Maybe since its final week that I feel like I didn’t accomplish much)
Pretty much a whole bunch of random thoughts smashed together into one post but thought a small update would be nice! I hope everyone is doing fine!! Thank you for always following me and check out my other social media to be updated!:)
Selfie from today! (Taken from my Instagram)
JUST AS THE TITLE STATES
“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail.”
Like my maroon nails, I decided to go back to basics and toned down on my designs for my manicure. There is nothing wrong with just plain old 1 coat of nailpolish because it still looks classy!!
-totally not another way to show off my nails fyi- obvi😉
BUT ANYWHOOO I am in L O V E with this nail color
YAAAASSSSSS TELL ME HOW YOUR DAY WENT PLEASE!!! ;D
I live such a simple life that I wanted to use this post to point it out. My day consists of school, homework and sleep (if i happen to get any…)
I would like to be able to be more adventurous but sadly, I am still in high school with no drivers license😦 I am sleepy as I write this so i bid yall good bye! =)
Girl: What if I get so fat you can’t carry me?
Guy: Then I can get just as fat, and we can roll around together.
I saw this on Facebook and wanted to share it with yall